+JMJ+
One of the things I have learned since I began my relationship with the Sisters of St. Joseph, is that I lack awareness/memory of what God is doing in my life. I remember the big things, the events that seem like miracles--but I have always wandered through life focused on trivial details, and seldom noticing the subtle things that God does, times He is present and active within and around me.
A unique prayer in which all Sisters of St. Joseph participate, initiated by our Founder, Fr. Jean Pierre Médaille, S.J., is called State of the Heart. This activity is commonly done almost any time the Sisters gather as a group, and the purpose of it is to share among themselves... or dare I say, "ourselves," the movements of God which we have recently observed as we live out our ministries or other daily pursuits. The format of State of the Heart is this:
- First, we are invited to remember the works of zeal in which we
have been engaged recently. Works of zeal are any encounter or
experience or event of our lives in relation to any creature or to
ourselves. Quite simply, we ask: What are all of the things, big and
little, that have occurred in my life since last I sat down to remember? Choose one or several incidents and reconstruct them according
to time, place, persons, my actions,
outcomes and how I felt at the time.
- Second, we consider what we have remembered
and ask ourselves questions similar
to the following: How does this experience
remind me of other events in my
life? How does it mirror a scripture or a
maxim? Is there a pattern or a theme in
my life that this event relates to? How
am I feeling as I remember it?
- Last of all, we listen for movements
within: What is moving in me now? Am I being drawn to something
deeper? To gratitude? To action? What inclinations or desires do
I sense within? What is happening within me? In this way, I feel
and interpret what I have contemplated.
- I now tell my story of the works of zeal and share my
reflection with the gathered community. Each person’s sharing is received
reverently, without critique, judgment, or comment.
In order to do this prayer, it is crucial to be able to recall those times when God was acting and you knew it--and my problem is that I usually can't remember. I read this recently in a book on prayer:
Awareness is the beginning, middle and end of every stream of spirituality: listen, wake up, pay attention.
...and that is precisely what I don't do, but want to learn how to do. My hope is that one of the things I will gain from living with the Sisters is the habit of being alert and conscious of God acting in my life. I realized recently that the main thing I want in life now, the only thing I really want, is to get closer to God, to know Him better--and I think that by joining the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia, I will do that.
