What is wrong with our world?

JMJ+

There is a terrible malaise in our country and I blame it on the decline of faith, I really do. If a person is not grounded in God, the world is such a bleak place, and I know that from experience.  Nothing, absolutely nothing seems meaningful, and you will do anything to escape from that boredom and pain.  I think the Devil is in possession of this world, and ever since the Fall, he always has been.  Jesus came to show that to us, and to give us the choice of something better and different.  As He said, My yoke is easy and My burden is light.  Accepting His way means catching glimpses of light when you experience love, which is God's essence--and those moments give you the strength to not give up. 

+JMJ+

I've had a low-grade fever for a couple of days, and was feeling so ill and dizzy this morning, I went back to bed after a cup of coffee, first emailing our retreat director to say I would not be in the Zoom conference today.  Inevitably, I wondered if I had possibly acquired COVID, and I was thinking how ironic it would be if I had it now, while on a retreat focusing on it!   

As I was lying in bed, hurting all over and wishing I could go back to sleep, I wondered if I were dying--do people know when they are?  I am certainly old enough--and, ever the practical one, I realized that I haven't yet made a will, and so I pictured myself writing something on a sheet of paper with a Magic Marker and taping it up on the wall, telling whoever found me to be sure to send my ashes, my Profession cross, my ring and my pin back to Concordia.  

I thought about how disappointing it would seem to die now, after I have finally gotten everything I wanted and needed in life--but then it occurred to me how appropriate that would be--and rather perfect--to die when you have found complete happiness. 

Because I have been given the gift of having so much trust in God that I don't question what happens anymore, I was not worried or upset about dying: I felt peaceful and confident that whatever might happen today, God was doing exactly what was right for me, and that I have nothing to fear. I did tell Him how sorry I am that I accomplished so little with all that He has given me, but too late now!  Throwing myself on His mercy: what else can I do?

First Day of Retreat

+JMJ+

Didn't have to go out today at all...my new neighborhood is so quiet and peaceful... I love when the Baptist church next door plays hymns on their carillon at noon and 6:00pm...a woman next door, whom I could only hear, but not see through the trees between our yards, called out in a warm Southern accent-- pretty sure she is Black--to greet me and welcome me to the neighborhood as I took my trash container to the curb for the morning pickup.. and the couple across the street brought me the 2 cats I agreed to adopt, who were orphaned when their owner died unexpectedly... As I sat here in my kitchen, finishing the simple supper I'd prepared, the thought came to me "For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be completely content." 

Back in the world again

+JMJ+

During the time I was in formation to become a Sister, I was asked to make this blog private.  Now that I am professed and feel a bit more free, I am opening it up again to the world at large, because the thoughts I post here are ones which I wish to share.  I know there are many people out there searching for meaning in their lives, because I once was one of them.  I found it when I found God--or when He found me--not sure which is correct.  So, the story continues.