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JMJ
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I absolutely can't believe that I have reached the point where it is appropriate for me to ask the President of the Sisters of St. Joseph if I may enter their Novitiate. What am I saying? I can't believe it's even possible that I could be considered to become a Canonical Sister!!!!
+ Lord, you have led me on such an amazing journey: I bless You, I thank You, I adore You!
I was awake for quite a while last night, and--as is my habit--I was praying during much of that time. The result is that I reformulated my letter this morning (4th revision!), to make it much shorter, more direct, more succinct. I sent the text to Sr. Betty, the Novice Mistress, and she told me to print it, sign it, and bring it!
So, here it is:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
June 2018
Dear Sr. Jean Rose:
I am writing to ask permission to enter the Novitiate of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia KS.
In the course of my studies with the Sisters, I have learned that I already possess the charism of the Sisters of St. Joseph. Without recognizing it as such, my entire professional life was characterized by striving to live the Ignatian ministry of presence. As I review my life, I notice how important it was for me--in every encounter with my staff and especially the students with whom I worked--to embody love for them. I believe that this was God’s gift to me, to have such a strong desire to be the incarnation of love for those I served, even before I knew Him. Nothing was more important to me, and it was what I stressed continually to my staff: “Yes, I expect you to be competent and efficient--but more than anything, to love them--each and every person who comes into the Library to seek your assistance.”
You already know the incredible story of how God led me directly to the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia, when I begged Him to give me another chance to have a consecrated life. I promised that night, that if He would give me what I considered to be impossible, that I would do whatever He wanted--and ever since then, I have been working toward honoring that commitment.
To put it plainly, I do not want to face Him at the end of my life, and have to admit, “Yes, Lord: I mostly did try to do Your work in the world, but I know that I could have done more--I could have given you everything, my entire life devoted to Your service! But instead, I chose to keep the beautiful house You gave me, keep the privileges, the comfort and the complete freedom to do exactly as I pleased, because it was easier and more pleasant to do what I wanted.” I would not be surprised to hear Him say something like, “Then you already know what the consequences are: you chose not to be totally one with Me, and thus it will be, through all Eternity.” And I will have nothing to say in reply, because I know He is just.
Please allow me to do what my heart tells me I want to do, and must do.
Yours in Christ’s love,
Carol Goodson
