"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
This past Spring, I had a fight with Fr. Mario--and although I have begged him to forgive me, he either could not, or would not--and it has been miserable to be there ever since, because he is cold and distant all the time. He warned me that he would be, but I truly believed that because he is a priest, he would eventually forgive me--but he hasn't. I pray for him a lot, because I believe that the kind of pride he has, is deadly to the soul. Perhaps because of his cultural background, he is obsessed with receiving respect, but that is not how Jesus wants His priests to be, not how He wants any of us to be: we must be meek and humble, like Him.
Today, however, I realized that although I have been suffering for months because of this, God actually used my fight with Fr. Mario to get me to leave Our Lady of Perpetual Help! There is so much fervor and devotion in the congregation at St. Theresa's--it's completely different from the congregation at OLPH, which feels very lukewarm in comparison--and I love the diversity at St. Theresa's!
They say the Rosary before Mass. People don't come in and chat in the pews before Mass starts--it's quiet and people are praying! Fr. Joe is such a good preacher: his homily this morning was exactly what I needed to hear.. he talked about how he resisted his vocation, and lately I have been feeling great fear about disrupting my life so much. I have lived in Carrollton for so long, I am very settled here.
In order to become a Sister, I have to leave my beloved friends here. I have to clean out and sell two, maybe three houses--one of which I just bought and really love. I have to find homes for a bunch of cats. I have to arrange for care for my parents. I have to MOVE TO KANSAS!
I have secretly been feeling like maybe it's TOO HARD, and I just can't do it! But after what Father Joe said today, I know I can do it, I know I must do it, and I know that God will help me do it. So, Father Mario really did me a favor by chasing me out of his parish! I now see that being forced to leave OLPH is really God's blessing for me!