What I Did on My Winter Vacation

+JMJ+

I recently traveled from my home at Manna House to my former home in Georgia.  Since I needed to drive, it was a 2-day trip, and I stayed the first night at a hotel in St. Louis, which is about halfway.  One of my Facebook Friends, whom I have never actually met, saw my check-in post--I can never resist keeping people updated on my whereabouts and movements!--and commented that I was welcome to stay with her on my way back to Kansas in two weeks.  

Such a kind and generous offer!  --but those who know me, know that I am quite shy, and so my immediate temptation was to politely decline: after all, we had never even met, and only had one mutual friend on Facebook!

I believe that the Holy Spirit intervened before I could act, however, because in a few seconds, it occurred to me that:

•      What would be more consistent with the Vow of Poverty I hope to take at the end of my Novice year, than avoiding paying for a hotel room if I did not actually need to? 
•    When commissioning His disciples, Jesus instructed them in Matthew 10:11:  "...whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it, and stay with him until you depart" --which I believe was also the custom of the itinerant Jesuit priest who founded our Order in 1650
• As an aspiring Sister of St. Joseph of Concordia, perhaps I was being called at this moment to offer our "ministry of presence" to this self-described lonely widow!

So, I sent her a message accepting her gracious offer, we exchanged phone numbers, and she gave me her address, only a few miles away from downtown St. Louis.

I confess I was a little nervous when I set out on my return trip: what would this experience be like?  Would we get along?  I checked to see who our mutual friend was, and it turned out to be the mother of a 2nd cousin, with whom I had connected many years before, because we are both librarians. The mutual friend (the librarian's mother) has since died, but I knew she loved to travel, so it was not surprising to me that she had a friend in St. Louis.  I left as early as I could that morning, because I felt that because of the hospitality she was extending to a total stranger, I owed it to her to get there as early as possible, so that we would have time to talk and get to know each other.

When I arrived, she was very warm, gave me a hug at the street as I got out of my car, and helped me with my overnight luggage.  I found her house to be very charming, and I loved that her dog greeted me at the door!

Soon I was ensconced on her couch with a glass of wine, and naturally, our first topic of conversation was our rather remote Facebook connection, our one mutual friend--who turned out to be her mother!  It only took a few more moments for us to realize, to our utter astonishment, that my father was her uncle!  And, she is the sister of my librarian cousin, whom I never even knew had a sister!  Since we do not have the same last name, it never even crossed my mind that we might be related!!!

It quickly became very clear to me that God had indeed sent me to her.  She is suffering a great deal, mainly because her youngest son, an accomplished scientist, has a serious chronic illness which has caused him to be unable to work, and for which he has had numerous surgeries simply in order to survive--and more are scheduled over the next year.  Furthermore, there are indications that her husband's exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam may be the cause of his illness (not to mention her husband's early death), which has a genetic origin.  As if that were not enough, she and her sister are also convinced that their beloved mother's unexpected death a few years ago, was the result of medical malpractice.  

Because of all the pain in her life, she is bitter and angry at God.  Miraculously, she has not lost her faith, but she is seriously questioning how God could let all this happen to her son, and to her.  I was silently praying all the time while I was talking to her, that He would give me the right words to say, because I knew I was not adequate to the task before me.

That night, as I was praying in bed, I wept--partly because I felt such intense sorrow over her plight--which I am powerless to change--but also with joy and wonder at the intricacy of His plan (which brought us together), and profound gratitude that He actually trusts us so much, that He uses us to help Him to do His work on earth.  

I do not know what the end of this story will be, but a strong relationship has certainly been forged. I am sending her a book dealing with abandonment to God's providence which was recently given to me by my spiritual director--which has been a great help to me--because I hope it may help her as well.  She likes to travel, and has assured me that she will come to visit me in Concordia, and I am hoping that some of my Sisters here, wiser in the spiritual life than I, will help her to come to a place of trust, acceptance and healing.