I just recently realized to whom (besides God Himself) I owe the miracle of being able to once again have a consecrated life. His two instruments were Fr. Rafael Carballo, my pastor, and Sister Crystal Payment, who is a Sister of St. Joseph in my parish.
That wild night last November, when I "flung" myself into Fr. Rafael's Confessional, one of the things he said to me while I was trying to explain where I had been for the last 25 years, was that he thought I was wrong in thinking that I could/should not try again after I left the Dominicans at the age of 43. I believed I was too old, plus I thought that the fact I had already left two other Communities would count against me.
I have a lot of self-confidence, and I am not a person who often doubts myself. But I could not get his remark out of my mind. I kept thinking about it for months, wondering if he could possibly be right... and eventually, when I decided that he was, I began to suffer terribly, realizing that I made the worst mistake of my life, and that it could not be corrected!
As I wrote in my posts in March, the pain became so great, I finally begged God to give me another chance, knowing in my heart that what I was asking could not possibly be granted. But it was.
God's other instrument in this beautiful story of mercy is Sister Crystal, who chose years ago to be a member of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, even though she lives within the boundaries of St. Theresa's in Douglasville. Sister Crystal, who decided to do something for National Catholic Sisters Week this year. Sister Crystal, who agreed to give speeches at all five Masses the weekend of March 12-13, even though she hates giving speeches. If it had not been for all of that falling into place, I would never have heard of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia.
Lord, how can I repay Your goodness to me?