Hearing the Voice of God

+JMJ+

Gospel for Today's Mass (Mt 1:18-24)

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.
When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph,
but before they lived together,
she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.
Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man,
yet unwilling to expose her to shame,
decided to divorce her quietly.
Such was his intention when, behold,
the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
“Joseph, son of David,
do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.
For it is through the Holy Spirit
that this child has been conceived in her.
She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus,
because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,
which means “God is with us.”
When Joseph awoke,
he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him
and took his wife into his home.

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For some reason I have become obsessed with wanting to hear God speaking to me.  I don't mean literally hearing a voice, of course:  I am not crazy.  But I want to know what He wants from me: I want to have some certainty, like Joseph had when he learned in a dream that it was OK for him to take Mary as his wife even though it appeared she was about to have an illegitimate child. 

I talk to Him all the time... and I believe that sometimes He puts impulses into my brain to do good things, because that has happened quite a few times... but I want more communication.... Books say to pray, but to stay still and "listen."  What exactly am I listening FOR?  

I guess I understand now, why someone would want a spiritual director:  I feel like I need someone to help me with this!  I am going to start asking God to send me one, if He thinks I need it.  Father Mario is my spiritual director now--and I will definitely ask him to help me with this, but he said he thinks I need someone more experienced than he is. +